Om Shri Gurave Namah
A heartfelt dedication to teachers never too late
In the age of social media influencers, we invest much of
our waking hours following these trendsetters. We readily allow them to shape
our belief systems. From the fear of missing out to the desperation of fitting
in, we let their influence sweep over us unguarded.
History has repeatedly revealed, just as the digital age
shows today, that despite the belief that we are separate individuals with
independent destinies, our humanness, our need for connection, and our need for
unification are ingrained in our psyche as a necessity above all else.
I believe in our quests in living a meaningful and fulfilled
lives and helping us find answers to the unanswered are our parents, mentors,
teachers, coaches—our gurus. I started this dedication on one of the brightest
and most heavenly full moons, on July 29 this year. A dedication on Guru Purnima—a
day that celebrates teachers, mentors, and coaches. I offer this personal
perspective on the importance of good teachers and mentors, and how they can
help shape our experiences in meaningful and profound ways.
Education begins at home
Our families arranged my parents' union, following
traditions rooted in shared religious values. Thus, I was born into the
religious household of a Brahmin family of Iyer heritage. Even though my
paternal grandparents were orthodox Iyers who strictly adhered to their
religious faith and belief systems, I enjoyed a liberal upbringing with the
freedom to express and explore within the safe bounds of cultural guidance and
spiritual mentorship.
I honestly reveled in traditions because they came wrapped
in the warmth of compassion and love. Celebrations that spanned the entire year
remain etched in my memories—Pongal/Sankranti, Maha Shivratri, Holi, Rama
Navami, Hanuman Jayanti, the Lunar (Tamil) New Year, Guru Purnima, Raksha
Bandhan, Varalakshmi Vratam, Ganesha Chaturthi, Nombu, Navratri, Saraswati
Pooja, Diwali, and Karthikai, to name a few. Each festival had meaning and
brought a spirit of oneness to our family, offering a way to rejoice in the
festivities through gratitude, prayer, art, and food. Every celebration was a
ritual of gratitude and love.
For example, during the January Pongal celebrations, I loved
decorating the shombu (pot) before boiling the milk. The three days of Pongal
are filled with appreciation: expressing gratitude to the sun and moon for
giving us life, thanking nature and farmers for the harvest, honoring our
ancestors for their ancient wisdom during Kanu, and celebrating the holy cow
during Mattu Pongal. Pongal also happily coincides with my mom’s birthday.
Another joyful tradition on Ganesha Chaturthi was sculpting Ganesha out of
backyard clay, making him a garland of flowers and grass, and dispersing him
back to the earth on day of Visarjan—the day to say goodbye. The profound cycle
of creation, preservation, and annihilation was so simply yet beautifully
represented by Chaturthi. Each celebration was packed with deep symbolism if
one were to observe closely, and this festival sometimes coincided with my
brother’s birthday. Navratri and Diwali were the most awaited festivals in our
family, marked by elaborate rituals and celebrations. These generally coincided
with my parents' anniversary, as well as my sister's birthday and my own.
My first teachers, my parents, are living models of the
"practice what you preach" philosophy. During my childhood days, they
seldom made demands; instead, they led by example, which I willfully and
joyfully mirrored. Good teachers do not demand the unachievable but illustrate
good behavior through practice. They teach you early on that failure is part of
the learning process and that criticism prepares you for future challenges—as
life itself is riddled with them. They lay a healthy foundation by being your
cheerleaders, your support system, and your security blanket in times of need.
However, I did not hesitate to question the status quo
whenever traditions were devoid of that warmth and appeared to be fearmongering
instead. Such demands usually come from a place of control and non-acceptance. Looking
back, I must admit that I could have been a slightly rebellious and mildly
demanding teenager. In retrospect, however, I see how valuable certain guiding
principles have been in helping me with self-governance and moderation. I bow
down to my parents' legacy, which I will continue to carry with me. A true
testament to their parenting is my late brother, whose spiritual guidance stays
with me through his books and guided meditations. I am eternally grateful to my
first teachers, my parents. I cannot wait for them to celebrate their golden
jubilee wedding anniversary in November this year.
They say it takes a village to raise a child, and in my
case, it was absolutely true. I also learned many life lessons from living in a
joint family for a part of my life. Even when we were not living as a joint
family, my life was guided by the influence of a very large extended family of
grandparents, uncles, aunts, and cousins from both my mom's and dad’s sides.
Part of an Indian upbringing involved receiving unsolicited advice from elders
from all walks of life. When such advice arrived, you accepted it with gratitude,
and you never talked back. Other Gen-Xers who grew up in India can perhaps
attest to this experience. I bow down to my family members and the individuals
who have offered their advice and life lessons over the years.
Typical K-15 schooling—elementary through college
I grew up in four different cities across three states,
moving through multiple suburbs within those cities in India. I attended a
total of ten different schools from kindergarten through graduation. Even
though India recognizes Hindi and English as official languages, 22 scheduled
languages are listed in the Indian constitution. Studying in different states
across India meant learning the regional language of each state. I had to learn
Gujarati in Gujarat, Marathi in Maharashtra, and Tamil in Tamil Nadu. It is not
uncommon for many Indians to know three to four languages. My dad, my
brother-in-law, and one of my nieces are all polyglots. I believe learning
different languages enriches our experience and extends our adaptability to a
wider set of cultural experiences. It also helps improve the analytical
capacity of the brain.
I have only the fondest memories of the most influential
teachers from my school journey. While my natural proclivity toward science
stemmed from my parents’ educational backgrounds, it was my amazing science
teachers—Latha Ma’am, Kamala Ma’am, Jayanthi Ma’am, and Subhashini Ma’am—who
further fueled that drive and guided me to love the subject throughout my
school life. That scientific curiosity carried over into my life after school,
anchoring both my successful career in the healthcare sector and my personal
love for all things science. Beyond science, I must give a special shoutout to
Balachandar Sir for cultivating my love for literature and public speaking in
secondary school, as well as Mrs. Singh, my physical education teacher, whose
structured guidance in yoga and volleyball remains fresh in my mind today.
Dance Schooling
Classical dance schools in India enliven the Guru-Shishya
Parampara even to this day. This traditional teacher-student culture roots back
to the long-established gurukula system of 1500 BCE. Even though modern
students no longer live with their teachers, dance schooling still mirrors that
ancient residential tradition, which focused on holistic development, core
values, and spiritual growth. I have enormous gratitude for my Bharatanatyam
teacher, Mrs. Revathi Srinivasan, who instilled a lifelong love for dancing
through her devoted instructions. I also hold the utmost gratitude for the
Kalakshetra Dance Academy in Besant Nagar, Chennai. With its beautifully
nuanced approach to Bharatanatyam, it remains to this day one of the most
revered dance schools in India.
My humblest pranams to Parna Basu ji, my current Kathak
Guru. In class, we lovingly address her as Parnadi ('di' meaning older sister),
even though she is younger than many of us in the Prama classes who have
rediscovered our love for dance under her tutelage. One thing I will never
forget is her modesty and sincerity on the day of our exams. Around five or
more classes were scheduled to take their tests back-to-back on Zoom. While
Parnadi and the students joined from the Bay Area, we were testing with the
Lucknow 'Kalka-Bindadin' Gharana during India's morning hours. The Bay Area is
exactly 12.5 hours behind, putting our exam time after 8:00 PM. We happened to
be the last class, patiently waiting for our turn, which finally came closer to
midnight. Even though people were getting anxious and tired, Parnadi remained
patient, introducing each one of us as our turns came. She stood throughout the
entire test, always wearing a smile. She also brings 100% of her energy to
every class, performing the steps with us and reciting the bols—the verbal
rhythms—with unwavering enthusiasm. When it comes to discipline, practice, and
completely immersing oneself in dance, she is the person I look up to and
admire the most.
Grihasthashrama—Married Life Lessons
Shashi and I wed in our early twenties, marking the
beginning of a 26-year journey together. Together, we walked through our entire
Grihasthashrama—the sacred householder stage traditionally spanning from age 25
to 50. This phase became our greatest teacher. Building a life on our own in
America, embracing the American dream, balancing material prosperity with
societal duties, and raising our daughter presented profound challenges and
deeply rewarding milestones. It is a period defined by constant adaptation,
growth, and resilience, beautifully shaped by the family, friends, and
colleagues around us. As we prepare for the next chapter, I look back with
immense gratitude for our careers, our community, and the humbling blessings of
this life stage.
Spiritual Education
Growing up in an Iyer household automatically exposed me to
the Shankaracharya lineage of spiritual teachings. My grandparents and parents
followed Paramacharya, the 68th Shankaracharya. To back up a little, Adi
Shankaracharya—the very first Shankara (Shiva-Shakti) acharya (spiritual
teacher)—walked the lands of Bharatha Varsha (now India) around 700 BCE. He
revived and expanded upon Advaita Vedanta, a school of philosophy initiated by
his guru's guru, the divine sage Gaudapada. The Advaita, or non-duality,
philosophical branch is premised on the belief that upon self-realization, the
illusion of a separate, relative self is removed, and we merge back into the
oneness of Brahman. Brahman is the fundamental truth, the oneness from which
this illusory separation arises—almost like living a dream. Self-realization is
waking up from that dream and understanding the true nature of the self as the
pure essence of eternal wisdom: the Brahman.
His teachings still resonate with me today because they offer answers to the foundational questions of human existence. They implore me to ask the tough questions and to endure the deafening silences of a restless mind through disciplined meditative practices. As a human race, we may be evolving by upscaling our so-called quality of life, bettering human experiences, extending our life expectancies, and building artificial intelligence through our pooled collective knowledge; however, what this fails to do is make us focus inward. We can reshape our external world and our experiences through sensory perceptions, yet in doing so, we often chip away at what truly makes us stand out: our spirit, the very essence of our being.
I wouldn’t say that I was constantly in tune with my inner
calling. I did take a brief hiatus from inner self-awareness, indulging in
material pleasures during my young adulthood, especially during the first
several years of my marriage. However, spirituality never left me; the faith
was always within, guiding me throughout.
When Sachika was born, my younger brother, Kanna, was
diagnosed with cancer. He was always spiritually inclined and became determined
to find a spiritual Guru. He felt that self-teaching from various streams of
philosophy could be counterproductive—or worse, dangerously mislead someone
down treacherous paths. He knew that only a good guru could guide a person
through correct practices and ultimately help them grow spiritually. He found
his Guru, Michael Langford, who guided him toward self-realization, helping him
surrender his ailing body and free himself from the burden of suffering. Yogi
Kanna published two gems—simplistic, philosophical, yet highly practical books
on spirituality. I highly recommend both of his works to any spiritual seeker.
His guided meditations are also available on YouTube.
Chinmaya Mission, my spiritual home, found me when Sachika
was in kindergarten. I wanted her to know her roots and heritage. The spiritual
mission’s Pujya Gurudev Swami Chinmayananda’s teachings and his timeless wisdom
of Vedanta are humbling, purposeful, and practical. He used his eloquence and
his mastery of written and verbal communication to masterfully commentate on
the age-old wisdom of ancient Hindu scriptures and Adi Shankaracharya’s
teachings. Today, there are over 300 volunteer-run centers across the world
affiliated with the Central Chinmaya Mission Trust in Mumbai. For ten years, I
have been able to volunteer as a Hindi language and Balavihar teacher at the
San Ramon center. It has been a profound learning experience for me, even while
imparting knowledge to the children. This service mindset invoked a latent
spiritual thirst to grow and positively serve my community.
This is why it is so important to have scholars and leaders
who specialize in philosophical teachings; they possess the expertise needed to
export and interpret the wisdom of the scriptures for the benefit of others.
Good teachers are compassionate, non-judgmental, and welcome their students’
curiosity with open arms. They are devoted and do not demand perfection or
prescribe dogmatic preachings. Their fundamental purpose is to share universal
wisdom, not to spark intellectual debates or stoke an emotional response for
dramatic effect. Great philosophers and spiritual teachers have endured tens of
thousands of hours of meditative practices. Through devoted service to their
fellow humans, they have essentially devoted themselves to the service of the
Universe—Oneness—Brahman—God.
My two primary spiritual gurus are Gurudev and Yogi Kanna.
However, I do not limit myself, and I regularly expose myself to a wide
amplitude of philosophical and spiritual teachings. I have cultivated a mindful
thirst for inner wisdom from all walks of life, be it through books, videos,
discourses, or podcasts—you name it. I want to be a polymath, and I want to
fill every waking and dreaming hour with mindfulness.
Refine and Finetune
Have you ever read a book, watched a movie, or listened to a
podcast multiple times over the course of your lifetime, only to find that each
time it reveals a little more? The subtext becomes clearer and more evident
with every reread, rewatch, or relisten. This shift in perspective may swing
the needle of understanding—not always toward a positive revelation, but
sometimes in the opposite direction, depending on the experience one has gained
over time. Whether these shifts induce a positive, clarifying bias or a
negative one depends entirely on the degree of one's self-reflection versus a
lack thereof.
The fabric of our collective existence is intertwined and closely woven. Our realities may seem relative and unique to us, yet our deepest desire is to know the unknown. The very reason for this noninteraction-interaction, reason for you to have found this article, creates another piece of fabric across our time-space continuums to weave it into our collective consciousness. This beautiful tapestry is incomplete without that writer-reader bond that is created through our individual decision making. Yet it isn’t short of magic.
Reality exists in various realms. Understanding our true
nature has been an age-old quest spanning eons. We weave fantasies into fables,
channeling imagination as a creative output of the mind. We explore microcosms
to macrocosms through scientific inquiries. We constantly implore, discover,
and gather information. We educate, refine, and express our wisdom through new
inventions. Yet, the most important questions remain those we keep exploring:
What is the fabric that connects us all? What is our purpose? Who am I?
Namaste to My Readers
My humble pranams to you, as I value your time. I hope you will continue on your beautiful journey of learning, strengthening, discovering, and reinventing your life’s purpose. Thank you for reading, and I hope you find some key takeaways from this piece. Even though I grew up in a religious household, I am an agnostic; I do not prescribe to one single religion or belief system. I believe that each of us, in our relative existence, shapes our individual realities—whether knowingly or in ignorance. If any of the content here seemed preachy or triggering, I sincerely apologize, as that was truly not my intention. I leave you with a peace mantra that I have found to be beneficial, as prescribed by my Pujya Gurudev Shri Chinmayananda.
ॐ पूर्णमदः पूर्णमिदं पूर्णात्पूर्णमुदच्यते । Om Puurnnam-Adah Puurnnam-Idam Puurnnaat-Puurnnam-Udacyate |
पूर्णस्य पूर्णमादाय पूर्णमेवावशिष्यते ॥ Puurnnasya Puurnnam-Aadaaya Puurnnam-Eva-Avashissyate ||
ॐ शान्तिः शान्तिः शान्तिः ॥ Om Shaantih Shaantih Shaantih ||
हरि ॐ श्री गुरुभ्यो नमः हरि ॐ|| Hari om shri gurubhyo namah hari om
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